'She called me a drama queen': Bride-to-be faces off with her step-MIL over fiancé's wedding plans

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 7, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

No wedding would be complete without a little family drama behind the scenes. 

This woman got into a spat with her step-mother-in-law before her nuptials. In fact, the OP wrote to r/AmItheA**hole to get some clarity on the situation before marrying her fiancé. As she tells it, she and her fiance are planning a summer wedding that will be casual and "not doing all the traditions." By that, she means that she's walking down the aisle with her sister, while her fiancé wants to walk down the aisle with his three siblings. However, the fiancés step mother in law is totally upset about these plans, and since her stepson won't listen, she's targeting the OP. 

In the comments, people applauded the OP for standing her ground and for standing up for her fiancé. It seems like she and her fiancé are a strong couple already — they just have to deal with this issue only brought on by the stepmother. 

Next, this person quit their job of six years so suddenly that they cancelled their boss's vacation plans! 

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    Cheezburger Image 9751363328
    via Vadim Paripa on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - r/AmItheA . Posted by u/FallingSnow Leaf AITA for telling my fiancé's stepmother I am not his boss and am not tell him what he will do at our wedding?
    via u/FallingSnowLeaf
  • 03
    Font - My fiancé and I are due to get married in June of next year. Our wedding is not going to be very fancy overall and we're not doing all the traditions. Being raised by a single mom, I decided to walk with her and my sister who is my bridesmaid. My fiancé decided he wanted to walk with his three siblings who are his best people (the four of them are very close so all got an equal spot). My fiancé has a stepmother. She's been married to his dad since he was 10/11ish. She married his dad two
    via u/FallingSnowLeaf
  • 04
    Font - So my fiancé tolerates her existence but is also not close to his father due to the trouble from his childhood. For the most part his father does not seem to care that 4/6 kids (he has two with his current wife) are not close to him and have more of a distant extended family relationship with him.
    via u/FallingSnowLeaf
  • 05
    Font - My fiancé's stepmother told him she wanted to do a mother and son dance with him at his wedding because she saw from my mom's FB that we were doing one together (mom has posted about needing to practice, etc). My fiancé told her she was not his mother so they would not be doing one. She tried to change his mind but ultimately failed. So she turned around to tell me I needed to convince him and when I said no, she pushed it harder. I kindly attempted to explain that it was my fiancé's deci
    via u/FallingSnowLeaf
  • 06
    Font - She called me a drama queen and said she never claimed I was his boss but that he would want to make the day special for me. Then she told me it was a bad way to treat my future MIL. My fiancé said I did good. But his stepmother and dad said I was rude for reaching so much and I worry I did go too far. But my fiancé sees this as a sigh that maybe he will take them off the guest list. AITA?
    via u/FallingSnowLeaf
  • 07
    Font - Flamingos Fortune Parta: pant [4] NTA sounds like you have a healthy marriage ahead of you if you a) have each others back and b) respect each other Stepmom us entitled af tho
    via u/FlamingosFortune
  • 08
    Font - Low_Engineering8921 Aficionado [15] A: I was going to say the same. The "tell him he's doing it" attitude is not a modern mentality to marriage. You're equals and he has autonomy. Good on you for understanding his feelings and not forcing him into anything
    via u/Low_Engineering8921
  • 09
    Font - tntrkitties Stepmom also seems confused. "Bad way to treat her future MIL?" What makes her think OP would consider her a MIL if OP's fiancé does not consider her to be a mom? She's lucky OP did not tell slap back with "unfortunately my future MIL passed away and I never got the chance to interact with her."
    via u/tntrkitties
  • 10
    Font - [deleted] ΝΤΑ. she believed she was entitled to be their mom without trying Stepmom, Birth-mom, Adopted mom, Dad, doesn't matter. Parenting is about love not titles.
    via u/deleted
  • 11
    Font - Sevalisa Parta ipant [1] NTA. I think you having each other's back is the main thing here. Don't let them push you around. It's your wedding, y'all do whatever it is you want to do. If they can't accept it and keep pushing then telling them to drop it or they are out of wedding is a good line in the sand to make. And if they do keep pushing it hold firm and tell them they can't come to the wedding. No isn't that hard to understand.
    via u/Sevalisa
  • 12
    Font - FuntimeChris 79 Pooperintendant [66] NTA. Rest easy OP your soon to be hubby is right, you did really good! Unfortunately, with the type of person his step mom is you need to set hard boundaries very quickly or she will steamroll you. I personally don't feel her feelings are actually hurt. I thinks she's more ped because your mom will have more attention than she will.
    via u/FuntimeChris79
  • 13
    Font - ParsimoniousSalad Sultan of Sphincter [770] NTA. MIL was projecting when she called you a drama queen! I don't know that you need to take them off the guest list. Just refuse to tolerate their trying to dictate anything (as in literally hang up, end the conversation after one warning). Maybe they'll withdraw themselves, or maybe they will accept your boundaries. That would be preferable for the future dynamic.
    via u/ParsimoniousSalad
  • 14
    Font - diminishingpatience Professor Emerita [75] NTA in every way. She wants to make the wedding about her. You have done really well here and it is good that you and your fiance are supporting each other.
    via u/diminishingpatience
  • 15
    Font - m ArnOd As Enthusiast [9] She called me a drama queen [...] stepmother and dad said I was rude. Ah, the good old "if I call it, I'm not it". Obviously, she is being the drama queen and obviously that was rude of her to reach so far after you said no. NTA. Don't take them out of the wedding unless you expect them to make a scene though. It would be understandable - she was rude - but she is already punishing herself by alienating you. It's not like you and your fiancé are going to be any c
    via u/Arn0d
  • 16
    Font - Puffblazos Parta_ipant [2] You. Are. A. Gem. Way to keep what's important in front of you. You and your fiance are starting a life together and showing him you are in his corner no matter what is an awesome way to start such a commitment. Stay strong and remember it's you and your fiances day, nobody else. NTA.
    via u/Puffblazos
  • 17
    Font - ccl-now As Enthusiast [6] NTA. No need to tolerate demands from people who have no right to make them, especially when they're absolute nonsense. Given that he already told her no, and why, I'm at a loss as to how she still thinks that your fiance will "want to make the day special" for her. Strange woman.
    via u/ccl-now

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aita bride stepparent wedding mother in law groom family
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